Saturday, January 30, 2010

Climbing out of my comfort zone

As my was leaving for his trip to Thailand and subsequent move to Hollywood, I find my mind searching for those things that I gave up on in my life as a mom.  His move is geographic, while mine is internal.  I can switch gears now.  Focusing on things that gave me pleasure before he and his brother were born.  Some things that I loved to do couldn't share the time with me being the best mom that I could be and balancing having to support us all, for a good 1/2 of their lives.  The one thing that was there before and the one thing that dragged me through and the one thing that still remains the same is my love of photography.  It's still there and is now sharpened and more focused, as I had plenty of time to plan it in my head, dreaming of how it would take it's shape in my life.  Now, as a bittersweet feeling wells behind my eyes as I dwell on my son's departure from our household, that one thing that gives me joy can now be mothered as well.

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